Lost & Found: 18 days

I've been resisting posting this, in large part because I didn't want to give up hope just yet. But 18 days ago, our cat Indy went missing. We saw her before we left for LA, and that was it.

Nona kept calling for her and leaving the door open. Nothing.

Mary P came to house sit, worried that her dogs were keeping Indy away, so left for a day. Nothing.

It had been pouring rain, so they hoped that when the rain stopped she would come back. Nothing.

We came back from vacation and still no Indy.

I emailed the neighborhood email groups and networks, put up signs, checked the animal shelter, but had little hope.

The signs sort of worked: I got several calls about potential Indy sightings. The problem is that she is remarkably generic looking. Every description fit: grayish tabby. Seen nearby. One woman even delivered a cat to me that looked so much like Indy I couldn't tell at first. But then I put her down and she meowed (Indy only squeaks) and walked around and it clearly wasn't her. In a weird plot twist, I had a hunch that I knew who this cat belonged to: a family a few blocks north with a daughter in Molly's class. I had met their cat before and remembered how much she looked like Indy. It turned out I was right, so I returned their cat, who, it turns out, wasn't actually missing, but had been innocently hanging out in front of their house.

A neighbor a few blocks south called a few times with potential sightings. Last night he called with a description that was so close I actually went to their place to see if it was Indy. It wasn't.

Then, late last night, I was sitting in a chair in the living room chatting with Mary P (staying overnight on her way to visit family in DC). I heard a faint "mew" - and the dogs did, too! Mary said it was just her folding down the murphy bed and the dogs were just excited because she had said "cat". But she tried to replicate the sound - nothing. She looked out the front door - and there was a cat. Was it Lulu? I went to open the door, saw Indy's distinctive "Hanukkah" collar, and knew it was her. And it was!

She is very thin, was very hungry and thirsty, but otherwise seems fine. She doesn't seem upset at all, she's clean, and alert. And just as ready to cuddle as before.

Crazy. 18 days she was gone. Locked in someone's basement? Stuck in a crawlspace? Who knows! But we're happy to have her back. (although, I must say, Lulu seems a little perturbed: I think she liked being an only cat).

The Saddest Ballerina

March 22, 2013
Clara loves to move. She loves to dance. She loves music. And she has loved her ballet classes. Unfortunately, this spring, we over scheduled ourselves and some things had to drop out of our schedule, even if only for a few months. The most heart-wrenching to let go of was the ballet class. Even though we discussed that it wouldn't be, Clara had told herself a story that there would be a performance on the last day of class. There would be a performance during the next session - a big one it sounds like, with costumes and lots of preparations. For whatever reason, though, the teacher decided to start preparing for that performance during this session, which added to Clara's conviction that she would get to be in a performance and wear one of the coveted costumes.

Sigh. So, you can imagine how her world came crashing down at our last class when the teacher and I gently explained that there was no performance, and those costumes that arrived in the big tantalizing box just before class were not for her.

Suffice it to say that screaming and crying ensued. Refusals to leave. Negotiations. Sobbing. Several sorrowful looks from other parents. Several visits from the nice man at the desk asking if everything was okay. And finally, a brilliant compromise from the nice man at the desk: would Clara like to try on one of the much-discussed costumes?

Oh, yes, she would! And she did. She was still sad, but at least was satisfied with a short romp in the costume - documented below. That girl has some incredibly strong feelings and emotions. I just hope I can help her learn how to harness them!

Pinecrest - Dam Walk Surprise!

Our hard work hiking to the dam was rewarded with not only a beautiful view from dam (and a good discussion about the pros and cons of building a dam), but also (drum roll please)...

wildlife sightings!!!

First, as we were approaching the dam, Karuna saw a coyote trotting along in the middle of the ice. Now, to be fair, she knew what to look for. Just the day before, Karuna and Dave had hike over the dam and someone had pointed out that there was a coyote who appeared to be fishing through the ice. Of course, we were delighted to see the coyote again! But some folks on the dam started throwing rocks and the coyote quickly dispersed - trotting directly across the lake.

Here it is, just a speck to the right of the bush on the left. 

A little while later (after succumbing to the urge to throw rocks off the dam ourselves) we saw ... a bald eagle! Again, Karuna & Dave had seen one the day before, but we wrote off the chances of seeing it again, mostly because we were hiking mid-day, and conventional wisdom says you see the most wildlife at dawn and dusk. So every time I saw a black bird flying over (there were several) I would joke that it was a bald eagle. But then... I saw a bird that looked quite different. Quite raptor-esque. And, lo and behold, we were graced with an eagle circling, then swooping down onto the ice. It stayed for a while, hopping and slipping not-so-gracefully around a bit, then appearing to gulp something up off the ice. Did it fish through the ice? Was there something in the ice that it could eat? I wish we knew, but any way about it the experience was stunning.

SMOAC

In late December I dreamed up a family club. This club would be a structure and motivation for us to get out and explore and try new things. I thought of it while we were hiking at Sibley Volcanic Preserve. That hike was nice, but I was struck by how much we struggled to decide where to go, get there, and actually hike. This is crazy, I thought. What's wrong with us? We are people who think of ourselves as outdoorsy, and yet this is a challenge? Besides beating ourselves up, I tried to think of what could motivate us to get out more, and practice doing the things we love. Because by practicing, we get better, and the better we get the easier it would get, and the easier it gets the more fun we would have! And as I watched the kids and thought about this I dreamt up the idea of a club. Kids love clubs. (really, who doesn't love clubs?).

After some discussion, we decided to start S.M.O.A.C (pronounced "smoke"): the Saturday Morning Outdoor Adventure Club. The rules are pretty simple: basically we do an outdoor adventure every Saturday, and rotate planning duties among the four of us. The members are the four of us, but we welcome guests. Right away we wrote a long list of great ideas, and we continue to add to it.

Our first adventure was to take a bus to hike up Claremont Canyon last week (planned by me!). This week was Clara's turn, and much to our surprise, she chose to go to Angel Island and hike to the top of Mt. Livermore! It was a 4.5 mile hike round trip, with 788' elevation gain (and loss). Next week is Molly's turn - she's already decided we're going to Alcatraz. Can't wait!

Rock Star

August 17, 2012: For the last day of Molly's gymnastics/circus camp, the kids were asked to dress up as rock stars. Molly was delighted and quickly put together this awesome outfit (including writing "I rock 'n' roll" in tape on her shirt). But then, just as we were getting to camp, she balked. Suddenly she was worried that she'd be the only one dressed up! As a friend told me, peer awareness is totally appropriate for this age, but a little part of me felt sad that my fearless Molly was getting very self-conscious. 

$100 Sneeze

Yesterday, we paid $100 for Clara to sneeze. Well, actually, that was our co-pay for the trip to the Emergency Room on a Sunday evening after all other methods of trying to get the thing out of Clara's nose didn't work.

Yup. Clara stuck something up her nose. And it didn't come out easily.

Apparently, on the drive home from the Ethiopian restaurant last night she took part of the wet wipe, folded it neatly into a tiny square, and put it up her nose. Then promptly panicked because she couldn't get it out. The lovely advice nurse on the phone walked us through trying to get Clara to blow it out (she sucked it in further) and trying to get Zach to blow it out by blowing into Clara's mouth (she screamed and kicked). She said we could try waiting until the morning, but only if we thought Clara wouldn't put her fingers in after it and push it up further. I didn't think Clara could keep her fingers out of her nose, so I opted for the ER.

After an uneventful hour in the waiting room with a very subdued Clara, we were taken back and Clara was sat up on an exam table. The doctor peered up her nose and saw... snot. So he got a swab and started swabbing the snot away, which made Clara do a few little sneezes. The doctor tickled some more, and with one giant sneeze the neatly folded wet wipe (now covered in a lovely layer of snot) came flying out. It was surprisingly large!

And not so surprisingly, Clara literally skipped out of the hospital. After we paid the $100 co-pay. I guess we should be grateful that we didn't have to pay the full cost of the visit, though!

Molly in the Autumn

On the walk home Molly spotted these beautiful leaves and asked for a photo in them.

The walk home also included a discussion of the different sounds "A" makes - she was surprised that "A" can sound like "O". We compared "Autumn" to "Octopus". And laughed at the extra "n" in "Autumn". And how it's a "t" and not a "d" in the middle. I guess, until now, it's been "odum" to her. :)

Bye-Bye Pacifiers!

Today, in honor of Clara's third birthday (happy birthday Clara!) we said goodbye to all the pacifiers. Pacifiers have been a mixed blessing for the past three years. Clara was not eager to take one early on. But maybe because of the constant screaming and crying I figured I had very little to loose by continuing to encourage the habit. It did finally stick, although not that strongly in the beginning. Unlike her sister, though, Clara got more and more attached to her pacifier as the years wore on. And so did we. By the end, the pacifier was a crutch for all of us.

But the time has come to say goodbye to the pacifier. We've been talking to Clara about it for months ("when you turn three, we'll say goodbye to your pacifiers"), but hadn't formulated a solid plan until a few days ago. Lots of folks suggested employing the "Pacifier Fairy" (a mythical creature that collects un-needed pacifiers and re-distributes them to the needy - in some versions of the story even replacing the pacifiers with a toy). But Zach and Clara came up with an even better plan: Clara would give the pacifiers to the babies at Kika's House (her old daycare around the corner).

So, yesterday we collected the pacifiers from school. And this morning we rounded up the rest and put them all in a special bag. Here's Clara proudly showing off her bag of paci's:

And here's where she stopped and asked if "Maybe we could keep one or two here at the house?" (sorry, kid, paci's are going to Kika's):

And here's where she stopped and asked if maybe she could just carry one? (okay)

And here's where she continued on her way to make the delivery:

And here's where Kika happily took the delivery on behalf of the babies she's watching (one of whom quickly toddled over and scooped up the entire bunch):

Thanks Kika! And congrats Clara on becoming such a big kid!

Bite Me

Friday, August 20, 2010
C: don't bite me!
M: I did not actually bite you - you actually pulled away before I did it.

Big Bird vs Elmo

The following is a rough transcription of a conversation between Molly and Clara this morning. I was lucky enough to overhear most of it. Molly was getting a band aid for Clara (to put on an itsy bitsy boo boo).

Molly presents two band aids for Clara to pick from.

M: Do you want Big Bird or Elmo?
C: I want Elmo.
M: Why don't you want Big Bird?
C: I don't like Big Bird.
M: Why not? He's just a big yellow bird. He doesn't poop, or fly, or do anything. He just stands around chatting.
C: I want Elmo.
M: Big Bird has lots of yellow. You like yellow.
C: I want Elmo.
M: Elmo doesn't have any of your favorite color.
C: I like that.
M: So I'll give you Big Bird, okay?
C: I want Elmo.

At this point I walk away, when I return Molly proudly shows me how she put the Big Bird band aid on Clara all by herself.

S (to Clara): Oh! I see you got Big Bird!
C: I wanted Big Bird.
M: I convinced her.

Double Day!

Today we celebrated Double Day. As in: Molly = 2x Clara's age.
Molly = 1,896 days / 62 months / 5.1667 years old.
Clara = 948 days / 31 months / 2.5833 years old.
Mama = a dork.

We celebrated by having a picnic dinner at Lake Temescal and eating (what else?) cupcakes. Fun was had by all, including the ducks that mercilessly raided our picnic and were just as mercilessly chased by Molly. Baking cupcakes the night before was an exercise in extreme restraint for Clara, who threw herself on the floor every time she remembered the cupcakes and yelled "I want to go to the park NOW!"

24 hours

24 hours in our family's life:

FRIDAY afternoon i picked up a cat and a zebra from preschool:


SATURDAY morning we did our chores:


SATURDAY mid-morning a squirrel got stuck in the roof of our chicken coop:


SATURDAY afternoon the girls played with the neighbors:


and Zach hung out on the back porch:


and Nona prepared her rental resume:



SATURDAY evening the girls had a sleepover at Kika's House (former daycare) while Zach and Sofia went hiking:


and camping:


at Mt. Diablo.

Molly's Computer

Have I mentioned the things that Molly creates? Here's one from a few months ago (February, I think).
Name: Computer
Materials: paper, tape, crayon
Features: opens & closes, includes keyboard & screen.

She made this all on her own during one of her art sessions (quiet time on her own). She really gets mileage out of the free-access art area we set up a while back. It's stocked with unlimited paper, tape, pencils, crayons, scissors, and miscellaneous found objects. (It used to have markers, too, but Clara found those entirely too irresistible. I'm sure those will come back soon.)

Angry Molly

Molly got really angry today. And I'm really proud of her. Actually, I'm proud of both of us (me and her). Her for expressing her anger, and me for giving her the space to express the anger. Here's the long story.

We're on day 5 of 6 days without Zach (2 days last week, 4 this week*). We miss him dearly. I suspect if we did this more often we'd all have routines and ways to make it all work. But we don't. We're spoiled.

Even so, we have had a pretty good time this week. I've taken time to leave work early, which gives me a head start on the evening rush. Most days.

Today we had planned to go out to dinner with friends. They had to cancel, which was understandably disappointing. I set up ground rules for going on our own (every one had to pee, and everyone had to show me that they had the energy to keep it together through dinner). Molly stepped right up and got herself ready to go. Clara threw herself on the floor. Several times. I called off the restaurant trip and started making dinner.

And Molly was mad! She stomped around and yelled "I'm angry!" But she didn't hit. She didn't throw herself on the ground. She didn't point, or call names. And so I let her express that anger. And suggested she draw an angry picture. So she did.

This is Angry Molly. With freckles. And light blue eyes. And a yelling mouth.

She used Angry Molly to tell me that I never listen to her, I only listen to Clara. That she's mad at me for not letting us go to the restaurant. And she's mad at Clara for crying so much. And I listened. And she said she wasn't mad at me any more, just Clara. And when Clara was ready (Clara was recovering from another tantrum when she realized we really weren't going to the restaurant, even after she promised she was done crying), I let Molly tell Clara how upset she was.

And we went and had dinner in our kitchen.

* Zach went to Fresno on the train last week to visit GRID's new Fresno office. This week he's doing 2 days in the LA office (& visiting family), & 2 days in the San Diego office (& visiting Andy).

Always Our Babies

A week or so ago, Zach and Molly had a sweet exchange at bedtime, along these lines:

Z: Will you always be my baby?
M: Yes.
M: Daddy?
Z: Yes?
M: You don't have to ask.

In other, related news, on Monday, I got to go to gymnastics with the girls. For the bear-walk warm-up, Clara insisted on being the baby bear, walking under the mama bear (that's me), as usual. About half way through, though, she scooted out from under me and announced: "I'm my own bear!".

Yes, dear, you are your own bear. But you'll always be my baby. Just like Molly.

Photo: sisters watching a ladybug, Tilden Park, February 15, 2010

Big Trees Snow Trip

(To see the pictures bigger you should be able to link to the entire album by clicking on the picture above, or click here)

Rain down here means snow in the mountains. So, while our friends and family in the mid-Atlantic were (and still are?) being hit with "Snowmageddon 2010" we zipped up to the Sierra for a some snow play.

We had a great time - we spent most of the first day at Big Trees State Park, which had snow and, well, big trees. It also had a nice warming hut with volunteers serving hot cocoa around a roaring fire. There was a perfect little meadow for snow-man making, mellow sledding (just our speed!), tromping in the snow, and (a theme for the trip) clean snow for eating.

We also strapped snowshoes on and did a hike through the big trees. Molly and Zach went part way and stayed to explore one of the fallen big trees in-depth, while I hiked the whole loop (with Clara in the backpack).

We loaded back into the car and instead of zipping back home we went a few minutes down the road to stay overnight in the cutest little inn/cabins. After exploring the sleeping loft, Molly proceeded to spend another hour (at least) exploring the snow in the meadow at the inn. She loved sinking into the snow up to her hips. She loved picking pu chunks of snow. She loved it all! It was dark by the time I dragged her inside for dinner.

This morning was just as fun - we went to an overlook and played some more in the snow. Clara was pretty maxed out on the snow (it's hard to walk in, especially when you're dressed as a marshmallow and you're only 3' tall). But Molly couldn't get enough. She even had a whole line about needing more time in nature ("and snow is part of nature, you know") when it was time to go.

Good thing we have another snow trip planned in a few weeks!

No Parents Day

When the parents are out, the kids will play...

The stars aligned for a perfect getaway. While we had the house packed with relatives, Zach and I decided it was a great time to leave. On our own! In the last week of December, Zach and I left the girls in the very competent care of Nona, Opa, and Uncle Nouri for a day and a half. It worked wonderfully. First, everyone had a few days to get used to each other. The girls got used to the relatives. The relatives got used to the girls. Then we slipped away. It looks like they had a pretty good time without us. They had some silly play time at the park, and some serious fun at the Lawrence Hall of Science.

Photos: Clara, Molly, & Nouri at the park; Clara & Molly; Uncle Nouri doing silly swing pushes with the girls; Uncle Nouri shows Clara the amazing view at the Hall of Science; Uncle Nouri shows Molly the amazing view at the Hall of Science; Uncle Nouri + a tree + the east bay + fog + SF/Peninsula; Uncle Nouri & the girls examine something at the Hall of Science - I assume it was something scientific.