sleepy pee pee

happy pee pee

SLC

Our trip last weekend to Salt Lake was great. We visited with family, enjoyed an Italian/sortaMormon wedding, and got a little nature in. This week has been quite busy for us, should be more soon.

(edited to add photos from link above. Photos are of: Nona pushing Molly through the airport, my uncle Darryl holding Molly, and Molly napping in the hotel. Photo above is Sofi, Molly, & Zach in Brighton Canyon.)

Mother Shock

Note: I began writing this post way back on April 19. I didn't quite finish it (such is life) but here it is.

So I was at Bananas last week for a workshop on choosing child care (that's a scary thought for another time) and picked up this book ("Mother Shock" by Andrea Buchanan) from their lending library. I haven't read much. In fact, I've only read the introduction, but I enjoyed that.

I have two sets of reading material going: one, by the bed, is my nothing-about-the-baby pile of books. These are the books that get me through the night, or through rocking Molly to sleep. The other pile is by the couch,where we spend quite a bit of time during the day trying to decide if we're awake & wanting to play or asleep. And thus I have a lot of short moments in which I may or may not suddenly be called upon for a boob, a diaper change, or just a lovely moment to smile & enjoy. And thus I have tried to stock this area with tidbits to read. And thus I added Mother Shock to the pile & picked it up this afternoon and read the first few pages with a sense of understanding.

The premise of the book (according to the introduction, since I haven't actually read the book) is that becoming a mother is like traveling to a very foreign land and going through culture shock. A few quotes & then I'm on my way.

She starts out:

Imagine you have just moved to a foreign country. You have the worst case of jet lag ever. The guidebook you brought, which seemed so comprehensive before you left home, does not tell you everything you need to know. You do not yet speak the language, and everything is confusing. Your ... traveling companion ... gets to go back home each morning, coming to visit you only at the end of the day... [I]n this particular country you are expected to adapt immediately... You miss your friends back home, who only imagine the excitement of your travels and are unable to fully understand the difficulties you describe.

um. yeah.

There are other great quotes that I thought I might share, but since it's taken me nearly a month to put this post together I better just get it done with! She found some anthropologist who described 4 phases of adjustment for culture shock and adapted that information for motherhood. Her four phases include:

1. Mother Love (honeymoon stage, the first month): The pure joy of a mother's bonding with her newborn ... This is the Hallmark-moment experience of maternal bliss that we routinely see in the media and expect to enjoy ourselves.

2. Mother Shock (crisis, months two to six): ... the stress of the new situation-and ... lack of sleep-begins to take its toll. In culture shock, the second stage is mostly sparked by unmet expectations and the strangeness of being cut off from cultural cues. The second stage of mother shock [has] the added critical factor of sleep deprivation. ... With little sleep and first-time-parent nerves, disillusionment, frustration, and self-doubt can begin to set in. ... A new mother may feel overwhelmed by the immediacy of her baby's needs and may also feel isolated. ... [I]t is in this stage that postpartum depression can set in for some women.

3. Mother Tongue (recovery, months seven to nine): ... gradually ... a mother becomes acclimated to the routine of life with an infant. ... [E]ither By this point her baby is

car ride with Nate

Road Trip to LA

These feets were made for walking ... but not in LA. It's a Car town. But that's okay, so long as we don't hit the 405. She really really didn't like the 405. (see The Scream, below)



It got cold in LA, too! (this was when we actually did take a walk in a park. Yay!)


Molly meets her other Great Grandpa!


Cool LA kid (tie-dye is all the rage in Hollywood. Or something.)


Sleepy in the car car... (this is a view from the front seat to the back seat using the ever-so-handy mirror set-up. Basically, it's a mirror that faces Molly setup just so that we can see her in her rear-facing carseat from our rear-view mirror. Or camera.)


And here we are enjoying a pause on the drive at a lovely rest stop that happens to be 45 miles east of Paicines. Some of you may remember the significance of Paicines. Here's a hint.)

The Scream

We're still here! There's been a lot of this recently, but I think we're coming out of it. Growth spurt, perhaps? Could be, since she can no longer even squeeze in to her newborn clothes. She's a big girl now.

We've been very very busy - my mother left, then we headed down to LA for 5 days to visit with Molly's various Great Grand Parents. You read that right - this lucky girl has multiple great grand parents. Both great grandpas plus a step-great grandma. Amazing!

The sleep thing and the crying thing have been extra challenging this last week. Starting right around when my mother left (hmm... is she missing her Nona?) she reverted back to her 2-3 hour sleep cycles at night, punctuated with about 30-60 minutes of awake time and SCREAMS! Oh my. My heart was breaking. She would wake up a screaming bloody terror! Only time would soothe her. Not a diaper change, and certainly not a boob, since that would require her to stop, well, screaming.

And our days were filled with fusses and fusses. Ms. Fuss Buckets, as Zach dubbed her. Unfortunately for the LA clan, most of the trip down there was filled with our attmepts to get her to sleep and her fussing and crying. Yes, there were some lovely happy playing moments where she melted everyone's hearts.

But the last day or so she's mellowed out again. This is life with a child, right? 10 1/2 weeks and counting... (or is that 2 1/2 months?) ;)

Scrub-a-dub-dub

Nona and Molly enjoying a moment

one little Molly in a tub!

Nona was getting appalled at the state of the CHEESE! growing in Molly's neck. The sponge baths just weren't cutting it. Fortunately, our neighbors let us borrow their snazzy bathtub with great features like an infant sling that holds the little one and contours that let it sit in our kitchen sink. She seemed to enjoy the scrub-a-dub-dubing. And we enjoyed her silly faces. And the lack of cheese. We'll have to get one of these fancy contraptions!

In other news, we all enjoyed a rainy mother's day here. Grandma Susie (aka Nana) came up to join Grandma Mary (aka Nona) and the boyz showered us with mother-love. Molly thought it was cool, too.

And now some gratuitous shots: Molly in her cool green striped sweater & Molly in her significantly less cool (but equally cute) frilly girlie pink dress.

(post edited to include linked photos below)

with Piddy, too

How to Dress a Baby

Yes. This dear new mother was confounded by the baby clothes, having no idea what to use and when (I really couldn't get over the concept of having one item of clothing for the baby to wear. Go figure). Fortunately, Nona is in town and is straightening things out for us. ;)

1. Get over the fact that the main baby clothing item is called a "onesie". It has nothing to do with being the one piece of clothing your baby will need to wear. Even though you were given several lovely onesies as gifts, you really need twosies or threesies to have a properly dressed baby. Basically it comes down to needing legs, arms, and feet for the precious little one to be comfortable.

2. The real onesie is the footed sleeper thingie. The secret is that it doesn't just have to be used for sleeping! It's got everything you need for a day out: arms, legs, feet, and of course a torso. No socks falling off here. Next best is the "union suit", which typcially has long arms and legs and usually is easier to change diapers in (because you don't have to negotiate the feet) but will then require the use of socks. The problem with these two options is that one leak soils the whole affair.

3. When using a onesie, you can complete the outfit with pants, cardigans, dresses, or whatever is appropriate for the weather, parents, and baby. Again, socks would probably be a good idea. It becomes clear that a onesie is a great undershirt to base any number of outfits on. It's particularly good for the crazy bay area weather that could be hot one minute and cold and windy the next. (t-shirts are good alternatives to onesies, but tend to ride up as they wiggle wiggle wiggle).

& here's a gratuitous happy baby shot to enjoy!

Grandma's in town

Nona and Molly enjoy a moment together before we hit the town! What fun!

Self Portrait 1

Molly was a little miffed when she heard that I posted yesterday without any pictures of her. So she took this photo and insisted that I post it for her.

Our Little Tulip

Eight weeks! Yikes!

Friday marked the little one’s eight week birthday. Wednesday marks her 2 month birthday (which we’re celebrating at the doctor’s office with her well-baby checkup & probably some vaccinations). This begs the question: at what point do you start measuring her life in months and not weeks? I remember somewhere toward the end of her second week (12-13 days) that we stopped counting the days and started in on the weeks. I suspect that whether we use weeks or months now will depend on who we’re talking to. For medical professionals and recently minted moms there is a difference between 8 weeks, 10 weeks, and 14 weeks. But for most other folks it would seem that saying 2 months, 2 ½ months, and 3 months would give more information. I also suspect (based on a not-at-all detailed study that I’ve conducted in my mom’s group) that somewhere around 3 months I’ll give up on the weeks except with the medical professionals.

I’m basing the importance of measuring in weeks vs. months on my own experience. Before Molly was born I just thought a baby was a baby. It was a few months old. A year old. Or perhaps a year and a half. Honestly, I didn’t know the difference between a 6 month old and a 12 month old. One was less than a year and one was a year. What gives? And I was confused when someone said their kid was 15 months old. Who knew that there was such a difference between a 4 week old and a 6 week old? Or a 12 & 15 month old? I noticed this phenomenon first during pregnancy. Pre-pregnancy in my mind a woman was either pregnant or not. Now I’m tuned in to alll the subtleties. Is she trying? Thinking of trying? 15 weeks along? 30 weeks? etc. And now I’m noticing it with the babies. Oh, how little I knew.

In other news, all continues well with the little pooper. Yes, she’s quite a pooper. She’s gotten a lovely habit of pooping in clean diapers. It’s rather cute, except for the fact that it makes for lots of diaper changes. My favorite trick is when she makes all sorts of pooping sounds (you know what those are, don’t pretend not to) and so I troop off to free her bottom of the poop. We even hang out at the changing table for a while with her tuchus to the air to see if she has more to contribute. Then, just as I’m fastening the new diaper around her tush, phlbbbt! – there’s another one. Ahh, the joys of motherhood. And long afternoons at home.

Speaking of motherhood, I’m embarrassed to have realized recently that I’m shamelessly hoping that my friends will start procreating soon. Oh my! Here I am, having barely held a baby before Molly was born, selfishly wanting my friends to join me in parent-land. And I was one of those people who absolutely hated it when anyone even hinted at putting pressure on me to have a child. Oh boy.

(sorry, no pictures today. But she's still really really beautiful. Not that I'm biased at all)