Clarita

It's exhausting being beautiful. (And looking an awful lot like you're older sister. Or at least wearing the same hand-me-hand-me-downs - the sweater was actually saved from my baby clothes!).

Z & S heart Clara

Thanksgiving adventures

We went to Nana & Pa's for Thanksgiving. We made stepping stones; Played chess with Uncle Seth; Relaxed on the hammock; Swing, swung, and swang; and made popovers from Mollie Katzen's fun "Pretend Soup" cookbook.

Diggin'

I haven't gone to the local playgrounds that much with Molly since I started working full time way back when. But every time I do, I learn something new about that other life she has - that life without me. Turns out that Molly has a favorite piece of play equipment at one of the parks: the digging thing. This is the thing that, as an adult, I've always mocked at playgrounds and wondered if kids ever used them. I loved the concept, but thought they were too difficult to use. Well, Molly set me straight. She absolutely can use it, but also just enjoys hanging out on it. Her she is: posing; negotiating for turns with Oscar; demonstrating her digging skills with Nana; and just hanging out on it (nope, sorry Oscar, still not your turn).

Playground

Takin' a ride on the train at the park today, asking the conductor (Oscar) to let her off at Berkeley-Oakland-Sanfrancisco Station!

A Study in Brown (and blue...and green...)

(Clara asked Nona to write this for her):

"We got fancy new duds for me when Nona and Mama went shopping. Check out my cool brown long-sleeve shirt, striped avant-garde stretch pants and electric blue sweats. There's that green and orange and yellow striped front-wrap sweater that's been handed down to me from Molly and to Molly from Mama. The purple striped socks are made from alpaca and really keep my toes toasty. I'm just slammin'!!!"

popovers

we're down at nana & pa's house for thanksgiving, and molly and nana baked some popovers for us...

Fantastic Elastic

Today, after going to my six-week checkup (where I left Clara & Nona in the waiting room and actually enjoyed the looong wait for the doctor in the exam room - the quiet, peaceful, clean exam room) Nona and I went and bought a pair of jeans. With a button. And a zipper. And no elastic in the waist. And, as far as I can tell, I won't need to constantly "hitch" up these jeans. Nor will I have to unbutton these jeans to sit down or breathe.

See, they are neither maternity pants, nor are they my pre-maternity pants. They're now pants. And I love them. Yes, I enjoyed the simplicity of not having to fuddle with buttons & zippers while I was pregnant. It (mostly) worked then: I needed the elastic to deal with the ever changing belly, and I enjoyed the added bonus of easy access for the constant trips to the potty (potty? who says potty other than preschoolers & their parents?). But now those pants just fall down all the time & I don't enjoy feeling like my pants are about to hit my ankles.

I pulled out my pre-maternity pants and even tried to wear them for a day, but after about 10 minutes of not being able to breathe I found myself walking around with my pants unbuttoned and hiking them up constantly.

I do enjoy the sweatpants, at least those that I didn't totally stretch out, but sometimes it's nice to feel like a "real" person and wear "real" clothes. So, here's to a pair of pants without the elastic.

[I have to give credit where credit is due: I got this idea from rookiemoms.com in their "things to do the first month" category, I think]

Six Weeks

Clara! You're six weeks old yesterday! What a big girl you are. Really. Our midwife, Cindy, came for our last checkup & you almost topped out on her scale. It doesn't go past 12lbs. You, my dear, were 11lbs 4oz, not counting the diaper, which was 3 more ounces. You easily weigh more than 12lbs when you're all done up.

I mention this because you still enjoy being carried. A lot. Not that it's a problem, it just requires that we each find our favorite device to help carry you. Zach likes the blue sling. I prefer the black one. Or, if I can manage getting it together, I enjoy the wrap.

But today, my dear, we had big adventures, which were enabled by you putting up with being in the carseat-stroller for quite a long time. Nona, you, and I walked all over Berkeley. We walked to the grocery store (and just used the bathrooms because the pre-thanksgiving lines were too intimidating for us). We walked to the drugstore. We walked back to the grocery store to change & nurse you. We walked to the fabric store. We walked past the car repair shop (where our car was) because we were enjoying walking so much. We walked to the bookstore (& again changed and nursed you & played with you for a while). We walked to another drug store. And finally, we went back to the repair shop & picked up the car.

But that's not all! Nona & I had more "out" in us, so we drove to another store, where we changed, nursed, changed, and played with you. Got some food. And finally! We drove to pick up your big sister from preschool. She seems to be on the mend from her ear infections & finally got to enjoy some time with Nona once we got home.

Phew! No wonder you're exhausted. Too bad babies don't sleep in as long stretches as adults like to.

Stripey

Squeaks

It's sort of amazing what will put some infants to sleep. Nona has found this old and incredibly squeaky rocking chair to be her magic motion. For Zach it's bouncing on the exercise ball. For me I need to get her upright, nearly over my shoulder (maybe so she's not confused with nursing?), and walking or bouncing. Everyone's got their moves. And it changes every day/week/hour!

Nona's visit

Nona & Clara enjoying some time in the backyard.

hangin' out

Things have been lookin' up since about last week. Dunno if it's Clara chillin' out, or me gaining strength, or both. But any way about it, the crying jags have been more and more manageable, and on some days barely present! Also, Nona has been visiting, which has been super nice for us. And Clara has been extra mellow since she's been here, which has been nice since Molly has been contending with her first ear infection - both ears!

go sis!

Molly's cheers Clara on during some quality "tummy time", and then tries to show her how to move her head. What a helpful big sister.

Mama, Your Papa Loves You

it's late and i'm sitting at the computer with clara asleep in the sling around my neck, while molly and sofi sleep in the other rooms. the only noise is the hum of the computer as it plays this...

fuzzy wuzzy

Molly also enjoys rhyming, sometimes spouting rhyming words when she thinks of it.

Milk Pilk Gilk Lilk!

And this afternoon, as I nursed Clara in our bedroom, I overheard the following conversation between Zach & Molly:

Zach: What would you like for lunch?
Molly: Keanut Kutter
Z: A peanut butter & jelly sandwich?
M: No, keanut kutter.
Z: I'm not sure I understand, what's "keanut kutter"
M (very matter-of-factly): A type of food!
Z: Can you show me where it is?
M (gets up, I hear her move something): here!
Z (with apparent dramatic effect): Ohh, that looks delicious. (pause) So what do you want for lunch?

Space Monkey

This afternoon when we were enjoying a quiet moment in the car with the girls Molly initiated a game of "red light green light", likely inspired by the red and green lights we were encountering (duh!). I said "red light!" she said "stop!". I said "green light!" she said "go!". She mixed it up a couple times, but mostly got it right. And when I threw out "purple light!" she didn't miss a beat. "Banana!" she exclaimed.* I love that she has a sense of humor and enjoys word play as much as we do.

*Note: I actually can't remember exactly what she said, but it was something silly like "banana". If you'd like, you can think of a word that might sound silly to a 2.5 year old and use that word. :)

PS. Zach very wonderfully has been getting up with Molly when she decides that 5 or 6 am is a good time to be up. This is the fruit of their latest morning project (and efforts to keep the house relatively quiet for me - thanks monkeys!)

times

So, I have this trick I'm trying to use to help me get through the rough nights/mornings/afternoons/moments and to remember that it's really not all bad: I just try to conjure up one of the many many many wonderful moments we do have here.

Like last weekend when we went up to Inspiration Point. Even though I gave up walking and turned around after less than a half a mile, we ended up sitting on the picnic table under the pine trees and spending some time as a family. Zach cuddled Clara, Molly asked a million questions, explored the pine cones, the trees, the dirt, and the rocks, and announced that the roots she was stepping on were "like straws for the trees!" When I took Clara to nurse, Zach and Molly romped around, sang songs, and looked at the sky. Them's nice times.

Or one of the many many times that Clara cuddles up on my chest and sleeps securely, preciously, deeply, doing the difficult work of growing that body & brain.

Or the last two nights when I've laid down with Molly at night to put her to bed. We chat about the day (Did Zane take the helicopter from you today? And you didn't like it? And you took it back? Did Lupe help you? And next time you will use your words?) or about made up things (I'm a monster and I'm going to nibble on your toes!). And then I ask her to be still and she begs me to "lie with me for just one minute!" over and over again ("just one more minute"). And we negotiate - stillness and quietness for cuddles. And then, on a good night, her breathing becomes rhythmic and I roll her over and say goodnight, just a little sad that she doesn't ask for the Goodnight Story anymore, and just a little sad that I can't stay and cuddle all night, but happy that she's secure and sleeping soundly.

It's worked pretty well, and it's nice to remember the good, even though I find it's also really important for me to acknowledge the challenges we're facing right now.

One Month

yes, technically yesterday she was one calendar month old. But sometimes it takes another day for a tired mom to put it all together: today is November 9th & this baby was born on October 8th... the stars have to align just so for those thoughts to occur in close enough proximity to produce the final thought that this means the baby is a month old!

4 weeks!

We did another photo shoot this morning to celebrate being 4 weeks and 1 day old.

swing

Clara isn't convinced that the swing is a great place to be, but she tolerates it for many minutes in a row at times.