Portrait at 6 days

In case you haven't noticed the portraits aren't in chronological order, but such is life these days.

so here's my question to all the parents out there: how do you know if your infant is colicky, high needs, or just being an infant? Clara spent the first two days screaming, then totally chilled out. Zach and I marveled at how quiet she had become & counted our blessings. Was it the milk coming in? Was she just adjusting?

This lasted until this past weekend when she hit 2 weeks of age. Since then she hasn't quite gone back to the constant screaming of the first two days, but she has select periods of intense, well, screaming. About 3 hours in the evening (the witching hour(s)?), and another few hours scattered throughout the day. And on my curent level of sleep I can't quite remember how it was with Molly at this point. Is this colic? Is it a food alergy? Is this how 2 week olds are?

I found myself reading baby books today to remind myself of the special time Clara and I are at right now. That helped a lot. And then she screamed. And we went for a walk, which also helped a lot. And right now she's soundly sleeping on my lap, sweet and amazing. And delicious.

portrait at 11 days

Big Girls

Zach likes to say that Molly doubled in size the minute Clara was born. And I agree. We were both so convinced of it that we actually put Molly on the scale and measured her height. And she was exactly the same size she was last month.

But she has doubled in size in many ways. Perhaps it hasn't all happened in the last ten days, but it's been that much more noticeable. It's the little (big) things, like her language skills. She used mix her references when she asked to be held ("Daddy hold you" has now become "Daddy hold me" ... and "Daddy hold me standing up" ... and "Daddy hold me standing up over there"...). She used to call herself "Molly Flanklin" and when she rolled into bed with us she'd exclaim "Flamily Bed!". And then there was her fleeting "that's silly" routine: "The refrigerator makes the milk cold and THAT'S SILLY!". And for a long/little while there she had the most wonderful response to questions that she didn't know the answer to: a very thoughtful "hmmm."

Zach & I kept saying we should record some of those moments. But of course, we didn't. And they're replaced by other fun Molly-isms that will be just as fleeting and wonderful as the ones before them.

The Same, Easier, & More Difficult

I've gotten variations on this question a lot through pregnancy, and now with the baby in arms: "Is it different/easier/more difficult this time?" If I recall correctly (do I recall anything correctly these days?) the pregnancy was all at once: the same, easier, and more difficult.

I had the same nauseous first 4 months. And the same exhausted last month. And the same "it's going to be a boy because you're carrying straight out front" comments. And the same "your belly is tiny/huge" comments. The same constant fear about the baby's well being on the inside. And the same general "I'm not a really comfortable pregnant lady" feeling throughout.

It was easier knowing what to expect. There was much less fear. And I was much less focused on the pregnancy. Actually, that was probably the biggest difference - I was much less focused on it. With Molly I knew to the day how far along the pregnancy was. With Clara, I would recite my approximate due date (mid-October) and let others do the math.

It was more difficult to have a child at home already. In fact, it was exhausting to try to keep up with her. By the end I couldn't even try to. I took maternity leave several weeks earlier this time. At first, I beat myself up over it - wondering why I could "work to the end" with Molly, but not this pregnancy. Then I remembered that with Molly I came home and slept every day and with Clara I came home and tried to keep up with Molly. Big difference.

Now that Clara is on the outside things are, say it with me now: the same, easier, & more difficult.

Seven Days

That's how long it took for Molly to ask if we could put Clara back.

We're all doing well here - Molly had a bit of a fever over the weekend, and Clara has some bacterial blisters that are quickly clearing up. Somehow none of us have cross-contaminated each other.

Molly is mostly very happy about her little sister, offering her Bear-Bear when Clara seems a little extra squirmy. She doesn't like the crying. Whenever Clara cries, Molly asks her to use a "calm voice" (that's what we ask Molly to do when she's throwing a tantrum & we can't understand her). I've noticed that Molly is generally pretty good about knowing her limits with Clara & understanding when she needs a break. It was easy the first few days when Clara & I stayed in the bedroom pretty much all the time. Then, one day when Molly came home from preschool Clara & I were sitting in the living room & Molly got upset. "You go in the bedroom!" she demanded. I realized later that she had been regulating her exposure to us by coming & going from the bedroom. Having us in the living room probably felt like a violation of her space and a bit of loss of control.

Being a big sister is definitely a growing experience.

freedom

is a wonderful and scary thing...

big sister