In a nutshell, nope, we don't know.
At the 18 week ultrasound (below) it may have been possible to find out the gender. The ultrasound technician was wonderful and spent at least an hour taking measurements of all sorts of baby parts, but couldn't see between the legs. She carefully explained what we were looking at (good thing, because what looked like gray fuzz to us was clearly things like a kidney, brain, or bladder to her) and showed us the cool things like video of the blood pumping through the umbilical cord & a little footsie.
However, the little nugget wasn't so cooperative - it danced and twirled, and generally made it difficult to measure, but never gave us a glimpse between the legs. The technician tried various methods to get it to move differently (including tilting me at various angles), to no avail. Mostly, she just pushed her magic ultrasound wand into my hip. Not that I minded, you see. I was more than willing to sit through all this to find out that the kiddo seemed to be developing (and dancing) quite well. In fact, because all fetuses develop at the same rate until something like the 20th week, they can use the measurements at this point to better date the pregnancy. Our little guy measured exactly to the day what we were expecting based on the menstrual period method described below.
So, after an hour or so of prodding, turning, etc., (and having the radiologist review all the measurements) our mighty technician offered to try to get a glimpse at those private parts. I was tired; we declined the offer.
As I say, we'll find out one way or another.
As Zach says, it's awfully intrusive to ask a fetus to show it's privates if it doesn't want to.
As we both say, it doesn't really matter, anyway.
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