Zzzzzz

Wednesday night I slept for 8 hours.

In a row.

Uninterrupted.

In a really comfy bed.

This was made possible by through the generosity of some really lovely people. And I am so thankful. I had been day-dreaming of this night for weeks since I first came up with the plan. Zach's mom found the location (thanks SR & family!!!) for my "vacation", Zach's brother provided the backup, and I slept like a log!

The poor baby is getting better, but is still pretty congested and has a hard time falling asleep. She's also cutting at least two more teeth (on top this time). I do know that it will get better, though. Just before she got sick it was much much better - she slept for hours and hours in a row! It will get better. Yes, indeed it will.

In other news, we also had a lovely time visiting his folks. The Great-Grandparents came up and we all had a big lovely Hanukkah dinner.

My Baby has the Best Daddy

Seriously. I know that statement goes in the category of “my baby is the cutest ever”. But this guy is amazing. He’s been a rock for the last week while Molly & I have been sick (me for a week and a half now, Molly just 3 days). Even when it was just me sick, he was great, really pushing me to take care of myself and taking over Molly duties whenever possible, even cutting short a visit with a friend when it was clear (to him, not me) that I needed help.

And then when Molly got sick he just shone. Not that it’s ever nice to see your baby sick, but probably one of the most touching moments was when Molly was first sick and we didn’t really know what was going on. We just knew she was unhappy. I tried nursing her (my ol’ standby when I don’t know what else to do) but as soon as she saw Zach she just reached her arms out and practically jumped out of my lap to get into his arms. And he picked her up and she laid her head down on his shoulder and went to sleep.

She just wanted her daddy.

It was so wonderful to see that they have such a close relationship. And such a relief to me that he could provide her with such comfort, just by his presence. I remember back when I was going to the mom’s group one of the moms commented that she thinks dads and non-nursing moms tend to develop a larger repertoire of comfort measures for their babies because they don’t have the nursing to rely on. I think she’s right. Not that it’s better or worse. We each bring something different to parenting.

And it’s wonderful to have such a solid partner in parenting on nights like we’ve had recently. We’ve been able to survive by taking five hour shifts. It’s getting easier. The first night she had to be held practically all night long. Last night she slept in her crib almost all night. But because we’re worried this is croup we’re keeping a close eye on her and taking turns sleeping in her room.

All this is to say: I couldn’t have imagined a better partner and father. Thank you Zach!

And to everyone else, I hope you’re enjoying the holidays. Wishing you all a Happy Christmas, Merry Hanukkah, and Joyous New Year.

Cell phones, work, and family (and more ThxG pix)

Photos: Molly & Uncle N. discuss the cooooold weather [thanks to Melanie for the warm jacket & handy stroller!]; Molly can't believe what Uncle N. told her this time; bright lights, Big City life for Molly in the Big Apple; Great "Faux-Na" helps Molly pet Willow the dog; it's a party in the ExerSaucer!; Molly & Uncle N. discuss the benefits of traveling by train vs. bus vs. plane vs. car; my very own 11 year high school "reunion"; Mary P gives Molly tips on caring for naturally beautiful hair; Molly in a sea of Fish; Molly gets into the New College spirit to cheer on Stacy's peanut-to-be.

Not that we really needed verification of this, but it's sometimes nice to have a "scientific" study support what we could intuitively deduce.

"These findings seem to support my intuitions about how cell phones affect our daily lives -- blurring boundaries between work and family life because of increased accessibility," said Tate Kubose, a cognitive scientist at the University of Illinois Beckman Institute for Advanced Science and Technology.

"They also support the notion that we should really appreciate our women more, as they seem to shoulder a lot of the burden, even in marriages where both spouses work," he added.

That said, I know that both Zach and I rely on our cell phones to provide us with the ability to have the flexible work schedules that we have. This just re-enforces the idea that perhaps we should really be treating our mobile phones like a convenience, not a necessity. Molly, on the other hand, has not yet had her cell phone implanted. Perhaps we'll hold off on that procedure until there's a definitive answer about the necessity of cell phones... ;)

9 in, 9 out

Happy 9 month birthday, Molly!



You've now been outside in this world for as long as you were inside my belly. What an amazing thing, your life! Zach and I are having so much fun with you - and you seem to be having a pretty gosh durn good time with us to.

In the last few months you've made some amazing advancements. For a long time you were crawling - backwards. Which was funny in a way, but we could see that it was frustrating to you. But you kept at it. Every time we put you down on the floor you promptly rolled over into crawling position and started scooting - backwards. And of course, just when we started worrying that you wouldn't figure out the forwards, off you went.

Watching you learn to crawl, and watching the neighbor's baby learn to crawl, has shown me how different each of you are, even at this young age. He was mobile months ago. By mobile, though, I don't mean he was necessarily crawling, per se. He was mobile really by any means necessary. At first it was a sort of butterfly, wave, thrust thing - I liken it to throwing your body in order to get it where you want it to be. So for months he has been scooting around his house. I must point out that he's a very proficient crawler at this point. But what's interesting to me is that mobility is very important to his personality - he's very active. You, on the other hand, are not quite so. And yes, I realize that you're 6 weeks younger than him. But the differences remain. Where he was mobile months ago, you spent a long time watching. Content to chew on a toy and see where he went with that. And later, you were still content to get on all fours and rock - just practicing and getting ready.

And then one day I came home from work and started our evening routine and everything changed. I put you down on the rug as usual and you got on all fours as usual. And then you crawled. Just like that. You took one hand and thrust it purposefully forward. There was no doubt about it, no question what you were doing. You were crawling. In perfect form, and within a few days you were almost completely proficient in crawling.

And almost as quickly you moved on to your next challenge: standing. You are a very skilled crawler, but, unlike the neighbor's baby, you're just generally less mobile and more content to study the toys at hand. Neither approach is better, it's just really interesting for me to see the differences. So now you crawl when there's something to get (or when you see Sadie - it's very hard for you to resist the magnetic forces of Sadie the cat) and at almost all other opportunities you practice standing up. Pulling up. Pushing up. Doing whatever it takes to stand up. Sometimes we try to get you to walk a little while you're up, but you don't seem so interested yet.

Often folks ask us how you are and what you're like. Mostly we use the word "mellow" to describe you. And mostly that's true. The few exceptions seem to be when you're getting a tooth (and then you just sporadically get upset and wake up a lot at night) and with the whole sleeping through the night thing. I never know how to answer that one when folks ask if you sleep through the night. Most of the time you sleep throughout the night. But you also wake up a lot. Sometimes more than others. Since I'm still not inclined to let you cry it out, at this point it's mostly just something we accept. Yes, there are nights when Zach or I have reached our limit, but as good partners in parenting one of us always seems to be able to pick up where the other can no longer.

We also tested the limits of your mellow-ness by taking you on a whirlwind tour of the east coast. We flew in to NYC and hit Manhattan like a storm. Or, perhaps Manhattan hit us. Either way, you were as wonderful as one could expect an 8.5 month old baby to be. Yes, there were issues - like one night where your sleep patterns were reminiscent of a newborn. But what else could we expect when we plop you on a plane and fly you three time zones away to stay in a tiny apartment you've never seen before? You were also fantastic when we spent 3 hours in Grand Central Station at the StoryBooth. What better way to improve your immune system than to let you crawl around on the floor there? ;) Although at the beginning of the trip you had an uncanny sense of timing, invariably falling asleep just minutes before we would arrive at our destination, by the end of the trip you were a pro at falling asleep in whatever place we found for you - be it a nest of pillows at Stacy & Jesse's apartment, or a Pack'N'Play at Warren & Ann's house.

Like I said - you are just amazing to us. And you compel us to do crazy things like quit our full-time jobs. Whenever we start to wonder what we were thinking leaving those stressful jobs we spend a beautiful afternoon watching you learn how to bang on the wooden drum that my brother made. Then we remember that you never hear someone regret spending too much time with their child.

So, for every month that we can continue to make it happen, we're so happy to have you help us learn how to live in today. Thank you for making our lives richer - and much more drool-filled.

Standing tall (with a little help from my friends)

Happy Turkey Day

We had loads of fun on our trip back east but now we're tired and have loads to do at home so here's a few pictures quickly selected from the hundreds (oh! the excess of the digital age) taken. Hope everyone had a wonderful turkey holiday.

Stuff Stuff Stuff!

And now, my thoughts on baby gear - prepare for ramble, feel free to skip it:

Baby Bargains - Okay, this isn't really gear, but it's all about gear. Actually, I found this book really helpful not for the tips on how to save money, but for the information about what all that stuff is, why I may or may not want it, and what to look for in it once I decide to buy it.

Berkeley Parents Network - Um, also not gear, but a great resource for Berkeley-ites and non-Berkeley-ites alike. If you live within commuting distance, consider siging up for their emails (and then filter out everything except the Marketplace and Announcements emails). If you live outside of the Bay Area, check out the site: it's an amazing compilation of advice on everything from the baby's hair to tipping.

Sling/soft carrier - Oh! there are so many out there. My approach was to buy used and buy several. We have/had the New Native, OTSBH, and Baby Bjorn. I like the simplicity and compactness of the New Native, but unfortunately Zach & I were different sizes so I didn't end up using it much. I like the adjustable-ness of the OTSBH, but it's pretty bulky so we don't bring it around much. The Baby Bjorn was alright, and Molly loved facing out in it, but I couldn't use it long because Molly got too heavy for me. Zach used it (and I think liked it) for quite a while. The Ergo is another carrier that I've never used but I've heard rave reviews about.
Sites to consider: I've heard good things about the slings at Kangaroo Korner and The Baby Wearer has pretty comprehensive sling information.
Timing: I liked having a sling almost immediately and it was fun for Zach to carry Molly around on his belly like I had for so many months. Now that she's bigger I like using the sling for support in the hip-hold, but I'm starting to look into hip-carriers.

Strollers - Another item with a rediculously expansive collection. More than any other piece of baby gear, I think many people (particularly in certain style-concious cities) use their stroller as a status-symbol. If in doubt, read ... oh crap, just read the entire index of daddytypes stroller threads ... I was going to point you in the direction of a piece he did on sroller sighting in Central Park, but there were sooo many stroller pieces... oh, here it is.
I digress. My big piece of advice here is to buy an infant car seat carrier first. Any will do. I've heard good things about the Kolcraft's Universal Carrier, and Combi's Universal Carrier looks interesting if only because it folds up so nice and small! You need the car seat anyhow, and this will buy you time until the baby is older and you have a clue about what might be important to you in a stroller. Plus, it's hecka convenient until your baby grows out of the infant car seat.

Snugglenest - We used ours for months, allowing Molly to nap just about anywhere: in our bed, on the kitchen table, in her crib, in the living room, etc. There's also one by another company that looks interesting to me.

Bottle Drying Rack - not really a necessity, but isn't it cool looking? And while you're there, check out all the other cool-looking stuff that site has!

Sit N Stroll & Backpack Stroller - I don't have either, but just thought they looked interesting and perhaps if I didn't already have a backpack and a car seat I just might look into one of these things. What I am considering getting for our trip east at Thanksgiving is either one of these two sets of wheels for the carseat (that thing is huge!).

Me Too Portable Seat - I got this thing for our travels south and east and love it! So small. So sturdy. So nicely designed. And Molly loves sitting at the table with us, picking cheerios off the table top. Yum!

Svan High Chair - an elegant wood high chair. I saw it in someone's house and was surprised at how compact it is, particularly compared to most high chairs. (Plus, it's gotten rave reviews recently on BPN).

KinderZeat - Another simple wood high chair that grows with the kid. Note the age range difference on the European web site... anyhow, I picked one up off of BPN, but I'm waiting for the safety strap before we use it. It sure looks nice, though. :) In the mean time, our friend's 3-year old enjoyed sitting on it while eating dinner with us.

Ameda Purely Yours - There are two good double electric breast pumps on the market: this one and the Medela Pump In Style. Ameda's is significantly cheaper, and in many ways better: it's easier to clean, has fewer parts, and has a much better hand pump. The Medela, however, has much better marketing. It's the same ol' Beta/VHS thing. In other news... if you're not looking to hook yourself up to a milking machine but perhaps just do some occassional pumping, I've heard absolutely fabulous reviews of the Avent Isis (including some women who use it instead of an electric pump). This just in: I saw a new hands free pump that could either be great or awful - look for reviews.

Easy Expressions Hands-Free Bustier - If you end up doing the double electric milk machine thing, even just a few times a week, this little item will make your time being milked, well, bearable. Ignore the unfortunate promotional materials and order big (or find a store to try it on).